Family of Nine Voyage to Canada

We boarded a boat from Tarifa at night. It was an August night and the days were already much shorter. We were leaving for good, papa said. Grandma and our eldest brother were coming later by plane. Taking the big ship sounded like so much more fun. Papa said it was going to be a big boat because we had to cross a big ocean. We had travelled across the strait to Spain many times for vacations but always in a small ferry or hired boat. This boat was called a ship because it was so big.

Tarifa is nestled in the strait of Gibraltar. The furthest south and west you can go before hitting water in the south of Spain. The tip, 'la punta de Tarifa', also known as 'la isla de palomas', juts into the strait like an arrowhead pointing out towards the Atlantic.

The night seemed darker than usual. No stars in the sky just a dark blackness. The sky looked big tonight. It felt mysterious and something frightening about it. There was so much excitement around me. My brothers and sisters were competing for the front spot in line with papa. I was okay hanging back and watching everything around me. I can't remember the last time I felt so connected to my siblings and especially to mama and papa. I felt some kind of charge moving between us, a magnificent excitement and glory that we all felt at the same time. It was combined with the fear of the unknown as we set off to a world of something we knew very little about.

Our family had been living in Morocco for generations. Tangiers was a paradise. Clementines grew in our backyard and the sun set at 10 o'clock at night. Our summer days were long and filled with joy and play. We were headed to a land where it got cold outside in winter. A place where cotton balls fall from the sky and with it you can make men that come alive to sing and talk. The energy exuded between the nine of us that evening seemed to be enough to power the boat or ship we were about to board.

I didn't want to leave my home with my school and friends but papa said a lot of them were going to Canada too but on another boat. He said the schools in Canada are in big new buildings with lots of kids and many playgrounds. And that all of the things we see in the movies like banana seat bikes and tv's and big backyards, they have in Canada. In many ways we were so happy to be going but it still felt like I was leaving something behind.

A bell rang and a man's voice came on. Papa said it was time to go out to the ship. All at once everyone went towards the same doors. I remember mama lifting me up in her arms because I was smaller and trailing behind. From the view in her arms, I could see it was not just us, but everyone was as excited as we were. We went outside and walked towards the water. I could smell salty fish in the air. We stopped for a little then the line started to move again.

They were taking us into small boats. I asked Papa because he said we were taking a big ship across the ocean. He said the boats were taking us out to the ship, it was too big to come into the port. At the front of the line now, my siblings had already climbed in, papa had me in his arms and passed me over to mama who was already on the boat. It smelled even more like fish. It wasn't a big boat. It started moving almost as soon as we sat down. We started to move a little faster and I noticed my siblings moving around in their seats trying to get a better look out into the water.

All I could see was black. I didn't see anything that looked like a boat. I heard Nemie and Isa say "there's no ship out there it must be very far away". A short time passed and I felt the motor shut off on the boat. I saw them looking around and out into the water even more feverishly. I jumped off of mama's lap to join them and see what they were looking at. Out in the night all one could see was the black void of the night. Nemie said " papa, how come the boat is stopping?" "We're here" he said. "Where is the big ship" Isa asked. "Look up" said papa.

It was frightening! We looked up, way up, the height of a building it seemed. We saw a sole string of bare lightbulbs hung low on the bow of this massive ship. It was right in front of us, maybe 10 feet away. So gargantuan, we mistook the looming black steel hull for the dark sky of the night. The excitement I felt earlier moved rapidly to absolute fear. I scanned back to make eye connection with mama and almost magnetically leapt into her knowing and waiting arms. People and voices began to climb the planks. Men on the ship were calling out. I felt mama move forward and I buried my head in her neck. I hoped this part would be over quickly. I knew then that I didn't like big ships on dark water.